OK, I know I’m super late on this, as I haven’t had much time to write here lately, but I wanted to discuss those Hacienda party reviews that appeared in a few online publications in Feb. You know the one that first ran in Business Insider and then got picked up by Slate and a bunch of other places, quoting a certain “Mr. Sparks” and talking about a sex party we all know and love and have been going to for years. A few of my friends asked me for my thoughts, and a sort-of rebuttal to it, so I’m finally getting around to it.
My first thought was: “Secret??”” Bwahahahahaha!
The word was featured prominently on all headlines regarding the story and I thought it was funny because there parties are hardly secret. There are hundreds, if not thousands, of people that get invited or have been invited over the years. And even if you don’t get invited, if you’re on the various alternative scenes in New York, you’ve likely heard of it through word-of-mouth and Facebook posting to the tune of “OMG, the Hacienda party was SOOO amazing last night!!” (yes, yes, I’ve been one of those posters). But, ya know, if you consider that secret, that’s up to you.
So we don’t often talk about this because we take these (very strange) truths to be self evident, but running into your ex at a sex party is a common thing on the scenes I roll in. Which also means that you might see your ex having sex (or doing other sexual things) at a party, or they might see you. Which is, or could be, admittedly awkward. Or, depending on the people or situation in question, painful, even. As poly, schmoly, open or whatever you might be, it’s probably still strange to watch someone you were once deeply involved with have sex with someone else, especially if there are any latent feelings of hurt, anger or resentment lingering. Continue reading →
If you’ve never been to a sex party before, you are probably imagining it to be either something decadent and well-staged like Eyes Wide Shut, or something lame and disgusting, full of old, aggressive, unattractive people and the guys wanking off in the corner by themselves.
The truth is that orgies are either somewhere in between or nothing like either of those. They are full of real people, which includes the young and the old, the hot and the not-so-hot and everyone in between (unless it’s a young-and-hot-people-only party, which do exist). And the other thing is: a lot of funny shit happens at orgies. Hey, if you can’t laugh at yourself, or laugh at all the intricate kinky play we try to engage in (and sometimes/often fail at), then you probably don’t have a good sense of humor and don’t belong at an orgy anyway.