Dear FetLife Guys…

flogging, fetish party

Photo by Archbishop Tutu.

So I’ve alluded to some of these things in prior posts, but was apprehensive about writing a full-blown rant on here, as I had my blog linked from my FetLife profile and everyone on there that I had ever dated (or anyone that was still trying to) was presumably reading it. But a) I no longer really care what they think. These things need to be said. And b) I’ve actually quit FetLife a few weeks ago. I realize that writing this after the fact makes it kind of a cop out, but nevertheless, here goes….

I was mostly on FetLife to keep in touch with my kinky friends from the scene and get updates on fetish events around town (or the country), I was never really on it for dating purposes. And in the off-chance that I did go for someone, which was very very rare, it usually didn’t lead to anything good (disclaimer: totally not applicable to anyone I’ve met in real life and then friended on FetLife, obvi…). Continue reading

Everything But The Pussy

Kurt Vonnegut, Wide Open Beavers, Goodbye Blue Monday

Kurt Vonnegut’s infamous wide-open beaver doodle from Goodbye Blue Monday

Once upon a New York evening, I went to a friend’s backyard BBQ and housewarming party on the Upper West Side (who knew anyone even had backyards in Manhattan? I sure didn’t!). The party, food and people were great and all, but let me get to the chase.

Somewhere between a burger and a hot dog, while drinking my whiskey, I started talking to a guy by the bar. He was apparently new to New York. Had moved here from California a few months ago and was looking for “some fun.” Pretty quickly the conversation veered in the direction of fetish parties. I thought it was odd and amusing that this guy somehow knew to talk to me about these things when we were just hanging out at a vanilla party and there was seemingly no cue to bring this up. But I decided to help him out and (having had a few drinks) get on my “let me tell you a thing or two about fetish parties!” high horse. In fact, I was a little proud of the fact that I knew exactly where to go and what to do when it came to the fetish/kink/sex party-scene in New York and had that whole world mapped out in my head. Continue reading