Dear FetLife Guys…

flogging, fetish party

Photo by Archbishop Tutu.

So I’ve alluded to some of these things in prior posts, but was apprehensive about writing a full-blown rant on here, as I had my blog linked from my FetLife profile and everyone on there that I had ever dated (or anyone that was still trying to) was presumably reading it. But a) I no longer really care what they think. These things need to be said. And b) I’ve actually quit FetLife a few weeks ago. I realize that writing this after the fact makes it kind of a cop out, but nevertheless, here goes….

I was mostly on FetLife to keep in touch with my kinky friends from the scene and get updates on fetish events around town (or the country), I was never really on it for dating purposes. And in the off-chance that I did go for someone, which was very very rare, it usually didn’t lead to anything good (disclaimer: totally not applicable to anyone I’ve met in real life and then friended on FetLife, obvi…). Continue reading

Sex Statistics!

sex-market-researchSo I hear some of you have been waiting with bated breath for the results of my Sex Survey. I finally put my number crunchin’ and data analysis pants on the other day, and am happy to deliver some sexy statistics to you.

As a reminder, the idea behind running the survey came from a conversation I had with P, when we both counted our number of sex partners, compared that to the number of people we’d slept with from within the sex party/poly/fetish scene and realized it was a small percentage of the total. The conclusion? Sluts will be sluts whether they’re on such a scene or not. I then decided to poll some other folks on these scenes to see if the same was true for others. And, on average, it appears to be so! Continue reading

My Relationship with Kink (nowadays)

“So I don’t even know what you’re into,” he said, as he stroked my hair in bed. We had just had sex for the first time. We are friends on FetLife. We met, vaguely, through the kink scene. But it occurred to him that he hadn’t yet sufficiently gone through my FetLife profile or my list of kinks there to “know what I’m into.”

Thing is, I didn’t really want to talk about what I’m into. I usually don’t. And it’s not about being shy or coy, it’s about letting things develop naturally, there is a certain flow and spontaneity about it that you can’t get otherwise. Sure, throwing all your fetishes up on FetLife and having your partners, or prospective partners, read them might be convenient and easy. But I also find it a bit awkward. Continue reading