So I hear some of you have been waiting with bated breath for the results of my Sex Survey. I finally put my number crunchin’ and data analysis pants on the other day, and am happy to deliver some sexy statistics to you.
As a reminder, the idea behind running the survey came from a conversation I had with P, when we both counted our number of sex partners, compared that to the number of people we’d slept with from within the sex party/poly/fetish scene and realized it was a small percentage of the total. The conclusion? Sluts will be sluts whether they’re on such a scene or not. I then decided to poll some other folks on these scenes to see if the same was true for others. And, on average, it appears to be so!
The average number of sex partners from among the respondents was 88, with only 25 of those having come from the so-called scenes. The median number of bed mates (the median is sometimes a better measure, when you have some abnormal highs and lows, as I had here) was 35 with, again, only six as the median number of partners from the scenes. Of the 65 people polled, only about 22 said that most (more than 40%) of their partners came from these scenes.
And let’s talk about abnormal highs and lows while we’re at it, shall we? The high on the total count came in at a whopping 1900! From a woman, to boot, who identifies as bisexual. Man, I’m guessing she’s either of a certain age, or perhaps a sex worker, or perhaps making it up. In any case, I’d love to meet her if I haven’t already! (She also wins the abnormal high prize on the number of sex partners from the scene, which came in at 500!) But again, this is “low” compared to the total.
The abnormal low was a lonely #1. From a straight guy who also said his number of partners from sex parties was zero. (There were a few zeros in that column, actually, which made me wonder whether these people are even on any of these scenes or whether they’re just filling this thing out for funsies).
But I made the survey anonymous, so it’s not like I could have fact checked. I did ask for gender and sexual orientation, though, which led to some interesting findings in and of itself. Mainly: it again confirmed that female sexuality is more fluid than male sexuality (or that men are still too concerned with social norms to be more sexually open). However you wish to interpret that.
Of the 65 people respondents, 40 of them were women and only 11 of them were straight (the rest were some degree of bisexual, pansexual, heteroflexible or whatever they wish to call themselves these days). Meanwhile, of the 25 boys, the majority (19) were straight.
Additionally, of the 11 women that identified as straight, most (six) had still hooked up with women (or female-identified people). While of the 19 straight men, only three had any sexual run-ins with other guys. Of the women that identified as bisexual, pansexual, or generally open, most had hooked up with a significant number of women, while those numbers were pretty low among the non-straight men.
A couple of men that listed themselves as pansexual, actually hooked up with zero guys, which I found amusing. Pansexual, in case you’re not privy to the lingo, is something used to describe being sexually attracted to any gender, if you believe that there is more than one, so it’d include trans and queer folk, and the like.
Most of the men that identified as anything other than straight, said they were heteroflexible, a term largely popularized by FetLife to describe being open to hooking up with a person of the same sex, should you find yourself in a threesome with one or entangled among multiple bodies, cocks, pussies and other body parts at an orgy, but generally not someone who seeks out same-sex partners.
(To clarify: I’m not actually suggesting that all men should be “bi-ified” or anything. If they’re straight, they’re straight and that’s fine. I think it’s pretty funny, actually, that a lot of men on these scenes feel almost pressured to be bi or something other than straight. I heard a straight, male friend of mine complain about this very thing once. “You know, it’s hard being a straight guy on the scene, cause everyone expects you to be open to everything.” Yah, no pressure one way or the other, kids, remember? Leave the boys alone to their love of pussy!)
Only one gay guy filled out the survey (and I think I know who it was!) 😉 and the abnormal high (as previously) noted did not actually come from him (his was 400, much lower than the astronomical 1900). There goes Porno Jim‘s theory that the gays would be skewing the numbers.
Other fun facts: someone listed themselves as being “demisexual,” a term I had never heard before, but once I looked it up, found it to correspond a lot to how I (and perhaps many women) go about sex. It basically means not being sexually attracted to someone else until/unless they form a deep emotional or romantic bond with them. Heh, nifty. Thanks for the learning lessons and your responses, dear readers! Let me know your thoughts below.