Traditional Alternatives; Alternative Traditions

emerson quoteThere seems to have been an uptick in engagements, marriages and babies in many of the alternative scenes lately. All of which can generally be grouped under the “traditional things” banner, when alternative people, by definition, tend to avoid the traditional things.

I was talking about this with a friend recently, and he (having been married and had children before) said, “you know, I think people are starting to realize that these are good things and you can have it both ways.” You can still be alternative, whatever that means for you, and enjoy some traditional things. You can be into kink/go to fetish parties, be polyamorous, go to Burning Man, dress up in crazy costumes, have dreadlocks and tattoos, go to sex parties AND still get married and have kids. (Well, OK, you might want to lay off the drugs for a while when it comes to kids, but you get my drift). There is no shame in wanting any or all of these things, nor should there be.

Alternative lifestylers will often go on and on about the evils of social norms and conditioning, but they have plenty of their own social norms. So much so that they then become prejudiced against anything traditional. When it should just be about: to each their own.

I firmly believe in having a range of experiences. And those experiences can entail partying your ass off on drugs, going to festivals in a desert, experimenting with kink, having sex on acid, going to orgies, starting your own company, finding a career path, changing careers, having children, getting married (or making some sort of long-term commitment to someone), changing where you live, making new friends, losing old friends, taking dance lessons, learning a new language, traveling, etc. Basically: whatever you want the kaleidoscope of your life to involve. All of these things can teach you heaps about the world, yourself, human nature and relationships.

Sure, some people are naturally averse to some of these things (I know some that would never touch drugs, for example. And others who would break out in hives at the thought of children), but the above is just a sample list. You can make up your life however you want to. There aren’t just two paths, or “a blue pill and a red pill.” There are countless others and the one you pick (read: create) is up to you.