Orgy School

Side view of the Bushwick Mansion

Side view of the Bushwick Mansion

I walked by the house once, realized I had missed it. Walked back a second time. Confirmed that the number was right and then saw a couple of black guys sitting on the stoop and smoking cigarettes. I’m sure they saw me walk by twice as well, but I didn’t dare approach. What would I say? “I’m here about those orgies?” They would eat me alive, with their eyes at least. No, I didn’t really have the balls, so I decided to walk around the corner and wait for Jefferson to get there.

I was meeting him in the summer to get his edits to his profile and he decided to meet at this place where he was scoping out a house for throwing an orgy. A guy named “DopeRapper” had posted something on FetLife (for, you know, all of FetLife to see) saying: “BUSHWICK – MANSION – ORGIES” (caps, his), saying he was house sitting at this place for the summer and wanted to host sex parties there. I forwarded the link along to Jefferson, sort of as a “funny haha, isn’t this tacky?” kind of comment, but he decided to actually get in touch with the guy to a) see if our crew could host a party there and b) school the guy on proper orgy hosting, since he obviously had no idea what he was doing. (Lesson #1: don’t post this kind of stuff on a public forum).

Paint ideas (photos are my own)

Paint ideas (photos are my own)

When I told a few friends about the venture, they said “Bushwick?? Mansion?? That’s, like, an oxymoron!” But when I got there, it did, in fact, look like a mansion, at least from the outside, all five floors of it.  When Jefferson got there, we both went inside (the guys were no longer outside smoking) and introduced ourselves. Doperapper’s friend told us his mate was busy doing something downstairs, but that we could have a look around the house in the meantime. So, we helped ourselves to it. It wasn’t much of a mansion inside.

All the walls had been stripped and were a different color. There wasn’t much there in the way of furniture or mattresses and the whole thing looked kind of dilapidated. Jefferson and I joked that it felt a lot like house hunting. “So how do you like it, honey?” Is this where we’ll put the kids?” When we finally met Doperapper, he told us the story. He was house sitting at this place for the summer, the owners were set to sell the place in the fall, which is why it’s been so stripped down. They were away in the Hamptons at the moment. They were in finance (aren’t they always in finance?). They (supposedly) knew he was planning these parties. He was going to have a party that coming weekend (which we couldn’t make it to anyway), but was also looking to have other parties in the summer.

Jefferson climbing up to check out the roof.

Jefferson climbing up to check out the roof.

Jefferson introduced himself as “something of a celebrity” on the scene, someone who’s been hosting sex parties and doing sex storytelling shows and sex classes for some time. So, basically, a sexpert and then proceeded to grill the guy on everything he could think of (I helped). Including:

Who are you inviting?

How do you know these people?

How do you know that they know how to behave at a sex party?

Questions to which, the guy, who was all of about 22, replied things like: “yeah, man, you know, I can just tell if someone has a bad energy, man. Like if someone shows up at my door, I can just sense it, y’know? And then I won’t let them in.”

Riiiight.

I decided to be Cap’n Obvious and ask him, “Uumm… what about mattresses?”

kind of minimalist/not bad

kind of minimalist/not bad

To which he said, he was going to gauge how many people would attend this sort of thing by seeing how many would show up the next day (the next day!) and then get mattresses, as needed, for future events. Right, so people were pretty much going to be fucking on the floor or on the staircases (or in the backyard).

We also asked things like, how he was going to “police” this thing, whether someone would be designated to specifically watch over it? Whether all five floors would be open or just some, etc. He didn’t have very good answers to most of these. Seemed like he was just going to wing it.

Jefferson told him that he already had a good group of people that have been going to his events for years, have been vetted and know how to behave at these things. So he’d be looking to do a party in August, invite his/our peeps, and if the guy wanted to invite his own friends, they’d have to be vetted by us. (To which the dude nodded along). He seemed preciously unaware of the fact that there is a whole process to hosting these things. The Bushwick parties I usually go to have a loooong diatribe on consent in the invites that goes like this:

Consent is required for all contact. It is a bad idea to touch people from behind at sex parties, even if they are your dear, dear friends. Don’t assume that everyone attending the party is sexually available, won’t mind being felt up, or is spankable, kissable, or molestable without direct, specific, explicit consent. Even if you played with them before at a different party. Ask before you touch, and remember that no means no, and the absence of no does not mean yes. This rule will be mercilessly enforced, and you will be shown the door if you violate it. We have a zero-tolerance policy for non-consensual physical contact
At least there was a couch.

At least there was a couch.

After we were done with the interrogation, we wandered around the place some more and then agreed to get back in touch to set a specific date for the party. Though when Jefferson contacted the guy after the fact, it took him a while to get back to him and when he finally did, he said he decided against doing an event with him. Though he did keep posting open adverts on FetLife about the parties. It went from BUSHWICK : MANSION : ORGIES to: BUSHWICK: MANSION : GANG BANG… saying he wanted to get some girls over for a gang bang and to comment on the thread if interested, with things like “if any guy wants to come, he must bring at least one or two women, we don’t want this to be no sausage fest.” And, “biological women only” and all kinds of amusing nonsense. Not sure if any of these events ever happened. But my guess is he didn’t want to go to “orgy school.” Homeboy just wanted to get a few bitches and hoes up in his crib and get his and his friends’ rocks off. “We don’t need no education, yo!”

There was also this businessman-cum-scarecrow thing in the basement. *Shudder*

Then there was this businessman-cum-scarecrow thing in the basement. *Shudder*

(p.s. I meant to write something about this long ago, as it actually happened in July, but since I’m posting it now. I’m dedicating it to Andrew, who last weekend said, “what other sex parties in Bushwick??” There may be others, though I doubt there are any that can rival his, yet anyway… ).

7 thoughts on “Orgy School

  1. I think what spooked (more, even, than the creature in the basement) was my telling him,”Of course, we’ll want to clear this with the owners.”

    New Yorkers regard large, unfinished spaces as the best pornography. I had a rager for that place.

    • Yeah, I could see that. Though repainting all the walls/doing something artistic with them would kind of have been a waste anyway since it would only be a one-off and the place was gonna get sold soon anyway…

  2. Many (patrons and hosts alike) are quite oblivious to how there is an art to hosting AND participating at sex party to make it a good one. That’s why I have a “Sex Party Etiquette” category on my blog. Over time, it has called out flaws of mostly patrons, but also hosts.

    It’s sad to see someone have a chance to do it right, but refuse the advice. For they keep alive the displays of self-loathing and shame many unfortunately feel for going against the repression our society puts on sexuality.

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