I stumbled upon someone else’s write-up of a sexual bucket list (50 things to do before you die) the other day, found that I’ve already experienced most of the things on it, shared it on Facebook and had a bunch of my friends laugh at it for it being “too tame.” So, in light of that (and in light of the “omg, eww, that’s gross!” hilarious comments on that original article), I decided to compile my own list. It’s a mixture of things I’ve done, things I still want to try, things my friends have done, scenes I’ve seen others partake in, experiences I’ve imagined or fantasized about, etc. The original list was mostly skewed towards sexual experiences that women might want to have, but I tried to keep mine mostly balanced between the genders, hence item #1, which was alluded to in the original list (“kiss a girl”), but is extrapolated upon here…
(Sidenote #1: There are, of course, other lists of this sort out there already, Namely, the 1000 item-long Purity Test, which a friend of mine put me on to. You’re certainly welcome to peruse it, but I still wanted to writer a shorter, more manageable personal list, if only for shits and giggles.
Sidenote #2: To the prudes reading this, if you think this stuff is disgusting, vile or weird, I’ll happily direct you to a plethora of French literature and to FetLife, where you can find even more sexual experiments that will fit those adjectives better. I did actually try to keep this list to “things within reason,” so no donkey fucking, golden or brown showers or anything like that. You’re welcome.)
Friends and readers: I encourage you to add items that I may have missed in the comments section. I’d love to hear your ideas. Let’s inspire one another!
Without further ado…
1. Kissing, sex, or some form of hanky panky with a member of the same sex, if you identify as straight. Or with a member of the opposite sex, if you identify as gay.
2. Double penetration (I’m sure whoever commented that the anus is not meant to be used for sex and “eww, gross!” on the original article will appreciate this one). Can be done with two biological cocks, or one bio dick and one strap on, or two strap ons. You know, whatever floats your boat (or whatever you can get your hands on).
3. Sex in your or your flame’s parents’ house.
4. Sex on a balcony.
5. Sex on the roof.
6. Sex in the bathroom of a bar or restaurant (the fancier/classier, the better. I just love juxtapositions).
7. Swallowing (or making someone swallow) your cum.
8. Kissing someone after they’ve swallowed your cum… (or… you get the drill). See also, Dan Savage’s definition of love.
9. Flogging (giving or receiving).
10. Suspending someone or being suspended.
11. Ball gags.
13. Love in an elevator. (Steven Tyler’s sexy lips not included, sorry)
14. Sex on a sex swing.
15. Needle play.
16. Wax play.
17. Violet wand/electrical play.
18. A bukkake party.
19. A (birthday) gang bang (birthday, optional).
20. Going to an orgy (where you knowingly RSVP to and attend an event that will involve group sex.)
21. Sex on a long-distance train.
24. Sex at the office (in your own office, if you have one; someone else’s office, in the office bathroom or afterhours, whatever you can get away with).
25. Masturbating at the office (again, whatever you can get away with. If you want to get away with it, that is).
27. Anal fisting.
29. Being put on a leash or putting someone else on a leash.
30. Sex in a library. (Don’t all those books make you horny? Sapiosexuality is so my thing!)
31. Making a sex tape.
32. The Eiffel Tower (when someone is fucking you from behind while you suck someone else’s dick that’s in front of you and your two lovers high-five each other (the bro version) or kiss each other (the bi/heteroflexible/queer men version). Don’t worry, I didn’t know what it meant either until a photographer took a picture of me doing it at a party and a friend of mine told me, “Hey, you looked good in that Eiffel Tower, and I was like, “what??” and then “oohh…”
34. Sex with a co-worker (or someone otherwise work/business related, where it’d be deemed inappropriate.)
35. Sex with someone of a different race/ethnicity than your own.
36. Sex in a church, synagogue or other religious place of worship.
37. Sex with a strap on (giving or receiving).
38. Oral (or whatever you can get away with) in the back of a cab.
39. Choking/breath play (Infinite Eye sent me reeling around the room this way once. He now often says to me, “remember that time I almost killed you?” and we have a good laugh.)
40. Break-up sex (come on, baby, just one last time, you know you wanna…)
41. Make-up sex (cause you had to have some more after that “one last time”).
42. Sex with somebody famous (A-, B- and C-list celebrities accepted).
43. Sex (or sexy things) in the forest, mountain or on a hike.
44. Booking a hotel room in your own town for one night (or less) solely for the purpose of hooking up with somebody.
45. Discreetly playing with one another at a theater, a movie theater, at the opera or another show.
46. Mostly for the ladies: Doing a striptease, performing burlesque or doing a pole dance for a special someone, at a private party or on stage.
47. D/s (dominant/submissive) play.
48. Topping someone when you usually like to bottom or bottoming to someone when you are usually like to top.
49. Having someone go down on you while you’re driving.
50. Taking any card game with friends and turning it into a strip/truth or dare/kinky/sexy/anything-goes game. (Disney Princess UNO, anyone?)
That’s all for today, folks. Let me know what you think…